Finding the balance between urgency and reality

The Hub has been unemployed since 2011. He graduated in 2012 with his postgrad Law degree and completed half of his articles when he realised that this line of work was not for him. Having to deal with shady people (and here we’re talking about corporate and commercial law, never mind criminal practice) was something he could not reconcile himself to do for the rest of his life, and I support him fully in this. In South Africa, it seems to be really hard to get good work with multiple degrees, it’s so bizarre. He’s applied for more junior posts and gets rejected on account of being over-qualified, and for what seems the right level and position he just doesn’t have the experience for. It’s incredibly frustrating.

You may know where I’m going with all of this. I am the primary breadwinner right now. Thank God I have a good job (albeit contract due to the nature of my work) and make a comfortable living.

I feel that the immediate reaction is “woman, stop this TTC nonsense right now!”. BUT, I’m 33 years old and feeling ever so aware of the time passing and the rising risk of waiting too long to seek help. It’s taken me nearly a year to convince Hub that he should go for a SA following my sad/frustrating gynae appointment in April last year where I learned I am not ovulating. I am so worried of delaying “formal” TTC and the tests and solutions we could potentially benefit from now rather than later.

I challenge your poorly constructed argument

I challenge your poorly constructed argument

My argument – crude as it may be against the Hub’s lawyering kung-fu – is that there is no guarantee of stability or security even if both of us were in permanent, safe jobs. I know this, I was once retrenched twice in two years – LIFO (last in, first out) se gat. But right now I am making more than enough to keep us comfortable, so we should at the very least see a FS to understand what’s not working as it should, and come up with a solid POA and maybe, just maybe, begin TTC for realsies.

How do you balance the urgency of diagnosis/treatment and the reality of affordability?


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